Steady even when it's hard

Leaning into the faithfulness of God

I asked the Lord for a word for the year.

Steady was the word I felt Him whisper.

“Steady?” I questioned.

Lean into My faithfulness.
My steadfast love.
I will help you be steady.

But only three weeks into the year, we received questionable bloodwork that made me wonder if steady would even be possible.

This is not how I wanted the year to begin.

I haven’t had the energy to post.
There’s nothing to write.
It’s felt a little like stepping into a new wilderness season.

“Sweetheart, nothing’s changed,” my husband said to me.

“We don’t even know anything and we may never know until it’s time to know.”

And I know that’s true… but still, I’m sad.

Sad that we’re having to talk about hard things.
About what-ifs.
About things that were never ours to know.

Psalm 139:16 says,

“You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.”

All my days.
All John’s days.
Already known by God.

In the quiet of the night, when fear grips my heart, I have to lean in close and listen for what God is saying.

When I reach over in the dark to grab my husband’s hand, I wonder what it would feel like to not have him here… and I can’t breathe.

“Do you trust Me?” I hear God whisper again and again.

Through tears, I confess:

Yes. I do.

I trust You are good.
I trust You are faithful.
I know You will keep me steady.

And if you’re holding something hard today, wondering if you can make it through…

I’m reaching out my hand to you.

You are not alone. God is with us.

Together, we can lean into His steadiness
and let Him hold us.